We Need To Talk About Ashton and Mila Not Bathing Their Babies
This is why the straights can't have nice things.
Hi Darlings!
This week, we’re in your ear holes with some healing — maybe even some *sexual* healing! As we reconstruct our lives from the shambles left by, well...life…. We look at how each of us heals and whether or not forgiveness is part of the process, or should be part of the process. Also, Joe learns how to let go — and let God!
Lies!
Of course he doesn’t, he never will! But check out the episode anyway; give it a good listen below!
Otherwise, we’ve got quite a few things to talk about! On Monday, my big news went public — I’ve been named the next editor-in-chief of Electric Literature, a freaking awesome digital literary publication with an annual readership of 5 million. Please check it out, become members (and support our work!) and check out this cute lil write-up in them, noting that I’m the first Black and openly trans woman to be named EiC of a major literary publication!
Also, in this summer of unprecedented heat, nothing has done more to deter my attraction to problematic white men than Ashton Kutcher and the Funky Bunch — ie. the other celebs that admitted to not washing themselves or their nasty-ass children until they’re so ripe they stink! Y’all, the white celebrities are not okay!! If I had their money, and their bathrooms, all I would do all day long is bathe! You would see my face and my toes, and the rest of me would be submerged under mounds of bubbles all the live-long day! My skin would be so shriveled I’d look like a dried out pecan when I finally came out of the tub. You would not hear a peep from me about any damn thing. Ever.
In other news, Jamie Spears has determined that he is willing to step down from Britney’s conservatorship in time (proving that perhaps it really does heal all wounds?), but he also clarified that certain matters still pending resolution must be solved first. Now, I’m no lawyer but that seems suspect to me. He trynna make sure his retirement is intact. And usually, I’m not mad at the hustle but this time I am *very* mad at the hustle!
(I also have no factual knowledge of his intentions, I just like to talk!) But, I don’t trust that man for a second.
Britney's happy, though, and seems to be on her way to some semblance of freedom, as she noted in the IG caption to this video:
She’s right, you know. Letting go *is* freedom. Letting go of the demons, letting go of the foolishness, and often, letting go of the man. (Those last two were really one and the same).
Just maybe don’t tell Joe! Love you, thotties, and take care!
XOXO, Denne Michele
*extra* delectable content
1. Collectively, your Thotties cannot *wait* for this film’s release. The High Camp, High Drama nature of it all, and the story behind Tammy Faye and the men who ruled her, whom she ultimately overcame…. It’s all very Spearsian when really think about it. Catch the trailer here — if you haven’t!
2. Here are some of the artists Joe mentions in the episode, all of whom managed to find inspiration and healing in isolation, and because of it have been able to put some great work out. Here, also, is a link to an essay Joe wrote in which he wrote about Agnes Martin and the necessary joy in opting out. If only he could bring himself to opt out of Twitter.
3. Here’s an essay on Black Forgiveness written by Ciarra Jones, in which she argues that the pervasive myth of Black forgiveness is especially ironic because it’s the manifestation of white supremacy. It rests on the idea that our society is always predisposed to forgive white people, even of the most heinous crimes (ie. Amber Guyger and Brock Turner) while Black people are always presumed guilty. Botham Jean was presumed guilty while eating ice cream in his own apartment, gunner down by Amber Guyger, and yet she was forgiven by *his* brother. Ain’t that a bitch.
4. In 2006, when Crash won the Oscar, around the time I was first realizing I was Black, you couldn’t tell me that movie wasn’t the shit. You simply couldn’t. It was DEEP, man!! (Now I know better), but here’s a trailer anyway — mostly for the Barber’s Adagio score playing in the background. I dunno, I feel like Crash is a very #NeverForget kind of situation. Also, I will never forget fine-ass Lorenz Tate. ;-)
5. The Amber Ruffin Show is an absolute delight! But before she had her own show, Amber was a writer on the Seth Meyers show, where she did this amazing White Savior segment that still cracks me TF up!
6. When we talk in the episode about healing and I mention writing, I refer to writing longhand. But a big part of feeling myself in physical motion as a writer is an exercise I learned from a Lynda Barry workshop many years ago, in which I start drawing circles in the middle of the page and keep going round and round until I have what I need to start writing sentences/scenes, etc. Also, that workshop is where I wrote the first scene in my story, I Know How This Dream Ends, that appears in Issue 62, The Queer Fiction Issue, of McSweeney’s.
6. In this episode, I also refer to a moment when Fran Lebowitz is speaking about Toni Morrison in a documentary called Toni Morrison remembers for BBC Imagine. What Fran actually says is, “I know a lot about Toni’s childhood that she’s discussed with me, and what’s amazing to me is that she’s not an angry person.” You can watch the absolutely phenomenal documentary here, and skip to 22:41 to get to the short section on Morrison’s anger, and the anger in her writing. You can also watch a trailer for the more recent documentary, The Pieces I Am, here.
7. And lastly, we have a couple of moments from the iconic and historic film that tells the *actual* story of the first brick thrown at Stonewall, Love, Simon: The too-short and too-sweet moment when (God-willing!) friend-of-the-podcast Natasha Rothwell takes center stage in the cafeteria, and then, ending on Jennifer Garner’s best acting *ever* where she plays the preppy, white cardigan wearing Mom that we all need(ed).
also…
When I tell you I thought this video was real, it was legit several hours before I realized that this was a comedy routine. Which might be absurd, but remember hide ya kids, hide ya wife? Meh… ain’t nobody got time for that! Anyway, enjoy this moment of catharsis (for hot mess white men getting what’s coming to them!) for some comedic relief!