No One Asked You, Chimamanda.
No One Asked You, Chimamanda.
Mainstream TERF rhetoric and why we're not going back to "normal."
Thotties,
Like any good top, this week’s episode is all about the sudden retreat and the slow, steady, socially lubricated re-entry! All of us are getting out into the world. Yay for shopping, happy hours, eating out, traveling, and our new season — which can be streamed right here!
However, as your darling trans-sister-thot, I want to be sure you’re armed for everything the world is throwing our way. In particular, TERFS.
Beware of the cis-het woman, the TERFy capital “F” Feminist, who speaks loud and proud about the danger of a single story. She climbs atop her pedestal and spouts about the rights of womanhood and all the ways that trans women are trans women, yes, but trans women can never simply be women. This is a particular kind of woman, a powerful woman, who cloaks herself in the rainbow flag and fancies herself professor to all of us. She is no Marjorie Taylor Greene, after all. She doesn’t hate us (so she believes). In fact, she believes with certainty that “transgendered people should be allowed to be.”
Bless her TERFy lil heart.
She is the definitive wolf in sheep’s clothing because she positions herself as an advocate. She fools many with her rhetoric. Because trans people have been so marginal for so long, granting us the tiniest shred of humanity and dignity is enough.
I’m writing to tell you that it is not.
I’m writing to tell you that, in fact, I’ve had enough! Like JLo, in the critically acclaimed, box-office smash, Enough!
This woman neglects the very basic fact that the world is especially cruel to trans people, and to trans kids, and to trans women, and to trans women of color. It is not always safe for us to disclose. Our lives often depend on the assumption of our womanhood; people gleefully kill us because of our trans-ness, and yet we’re supposed to only refer to ourselves as women if we say trans in front of it?
Gurl, bye!
This supposed advocate demands that we care more about her comfort than preserving our lives. In her limited imagination, this is a reasonable request because *her* womanhood is central to “womanhood.” Ours is marginal.
She also distills our many and varied lives and experiences into the only kernel that she can conceive — that prior to transition, we basked in the glory of cisgender male privilege. There is no care for the person who can’t, or doesn’t come out as transgender. There is no appreciation for the nuances of our pre-transition lives: how the world might have received us in childhood and adolescence, or the dissonance of forcing ourselves to live in alignment with the sex we were assigned at birth. She is simply not sophisticated enough to imagine that many trans people do not live cis-normative childhoods.
Or perhaps she can’t be bothered.
In a *perfect* response to the specific “essay” I’m referring to, Akwaeke Emezi wrote “We know that to empire and its agents, our liberation is indeed obscene.”
It is also inevitable. I love you. Stay safe.
XOXO, Denne Michele
*extra* delectable content
1. While we’ve got you, get some Black Queer Glory in your lives by checking out the delectable debut album by Vincint, featuring the certified bop Higher (feat. Alex Newell).
2. Denne’s ex got her into lingerie. This actually gave her permission to explore something she’d always been curious about, and it’s the best thing she ever got from him! See? Our exes aren’t *all* trash. ;-)
3. Justice for Corn Nuts! The Little Mix of the nut snack world! Join the thot-revolution and sign our change.org!!
4. Denne has introduced into our lexicon the term “trampage” (not to be confused with “tran-page” though both have admirable and on-brand qualities). It is up to us now, dear thots, to disseminate this cultural contribution en masse. Please, use it at brunch, post about it on social, get #trampage trending worldwide as we foray back into our lives on various slut benders.
5. Tracee Ellis Ross has the definitive healthy attitude around being with ourselves and loneliness, and we love her for it. Truly, a Thot’s Thot! If you haven’t also watched her talk about making her life completely her own, it is scripture.
6. Icons Grace Lee Boggs and Angela Davis in conversation on re-imagining everything as the path forward.
“How we change the world and how we think about changing the world has to change… The time has come for us to reimagine everything. We have to reimagine work and go away from labor. We have to reimagine revolution and get beyond protests. We have to reimagine revolution and think not only of the change in our institutions but the changes we have to make in ourselves. We are at the stage where the people in charge of the government and of industry are running around like chickens with their heads cut off and it’s up to us to reimagine the alternative and not just to protest against them and expect them to do better.”
A word !!!! Read more about this idea on Fran’s newsletter.
7. FOMO is back. (Allegedly!!) After this week’s episode, this New Yorker essay about the cultural nuances in returning to “normal” has us feeling all the things.
8. In case y’all were wondering, these are the witches from Fran’s crystal store in LA, and they look…. exactly like we pictured them.
9. This is *all* of us going to our first post-Covid party! And while we’re all fans of… making things big… now we gotta make our small talk big. Just as we talked about i this week’s episode, right now our trauma, our self-work, our growth is at the tip of our tongues! Let’s not be afraid to bring that energy into our next cocktail party.
10. Lastly, we’ve got the first 3 minutes of this week’s dessert, just to ...whet… your appetites before you binge the rest! Hot tip, you can stream tons of original TV for free on Peacock — and no, this is not sponsored. We just love free things….. and cock.
11.Please keep an eye and ear out for Joe’s alter ego, Pam (from the nutritionist’s office).
Ok, so.
I don’t want to alarm you, but this Disney song about Daddy’s is the father’s day mood of the century. On message, forever relevant, and advocating for Daddy rights everywhere. I may be choreographing a striptease to this as we speak?